At a dinner celebration in honor of my great nephew’s second birthday, my niece told me a story I am happy to share with you. She had been taking her 2 year old son for a walk. On this adventure, she pointed out the trees and birds, cats and flowers and other identifiable aspects of our beautiful natural world.

In an effort to deepen the communication with Jimmy and increase his self-understanding she asked “Jimmy, of all the amazing things in this world, what do you think is God’s greatest gift?” With the All-Knowing of his two years of life experience he replied “Candy”!

Today, Paul and I performed at Studio 10, WTSP in St. Petersburg, Florida. We had the pleasure of interviewing with show hosts Holley Sinn and Jerome Ritchey. I had a little pregnant pause in the interview that, while tripping over my thoughts, birthed this ah ha moment. Once again I was asked questions where the clarity of the answers I was searching for only arrived upon reflection after the show. I’d prefer to understand these things better in the moment, but I’m getting closer.

I was asked to tie together my role as psychologist with singer/songwriter/musician. As a psychologist I have used words and verbal communications to help people better understand their thoughts and feelings which impact their experiences and actions. I believe music is a direct route into one’s emotions and allows for an instantaneous awareness of feeling states. Combining lyrics with emotional reach, I hope my music will allow people to get in touch with their own goodness.

Jerome and Holley wanted to know what inspires my music. I realized that inspiration changes over time. What inspired me to write my previous CD’s has evolved to where I am today. Now it is the goodness that I see around me that is a source of inspiration for my song - people in all walks of life and ages helping other people and wildlife; the soul in an animal or pet when you look into their eyes. I don’t close my eyes to the negativity in this world but I have made a conscious decision to keep my antenna up to receive the goodness around me and allow that to inspire and motivate my actions as well as to write with an intention to inspire others.

Sure I would have liked to have had a perfect interview, but it is the mistakes or pregnant pauses that make things real to us, allow for self reflection and bring us closer to our own truths.

So thank you Holley, Jerome, producer Mark Thorn and Studio 10.

On Sunday, December 28th I had the privilege of performing on CBS 12 in West Palm Beach, Florida on their early morning news show. It was exciting and fun for me as I don’t perform on TV very often. The news anchors, Ben Becker and Ashley Glass were warm and engaging and the rest of the team was fun and energetic. It seemed as though part of their job as hosts was to make their guests feel welcome and comfortable.

Had I performed on television frequently, I imagine I might have experienced this event as an everyday occurrence, instead of being preoccupied with concerns about having a good performance. A few days before the show, I called my friend and film maker Ken Ross. “Do you have any guidance for me”, I asked. He invited me to acknowledge my feelings of nervousness but reminded me that whatever that nervousness was about, this event was about my “beautiful” music. That helped me tremendously during the performance. When I was distracted by my concerns, I was able to redirect my attention to the quintessential aspect of this event, the music.

Fortunately three days before this event, I started reading a book I bought a while back by Wayne Dyer called, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. This book offers the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching believed to have been authored by the Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu. Dyer applies the ideas of the Tao for the 21st century. Rereading and hanging on to the first verse for several days, I had decided not to move on to Verse 2 until I had thoroughly digested Verse 1 and was on my way to mastering it.

One thing that struck me in particular about the verse was the distinction between desiring and desirelessness, wanting and allowing. According to the Tao, a person’s desire for a certain outcome is motivated by their belief about how their world should be as opposed to how their world actually is. Dyer invites us to “let our world unfold without always attempting to figure it all out”. (pg.5). Living and enjoying the mystery will ideally lead to understanding.

That morning I was talking to Orlando Contreras, my percussionist on the set, about what a great opportunity it was to be on CBS 12. I said to him, “you never know what this brings” and he said, “I’m having fun right now.” In that moment I realized the difference between reading The Tao and living it, trying and doing. I realized I wasn’t ready to move on to verse 2, that I had more work to do, practicing suspending wants and beliefs about how my world should be, and allowing, observing, enjoying and appreciating what is.

At this time of reflection and resolution I have been thinking about myself and you and all that I hope and pray for us and our world in the coming year.

I want to wish you all inner peace, love and hopeful thoughts and the power to create a better reality than what we are facing.

I hope you will find strength in your will and spirit to see life’s challenges as opportunities for positive change and growth.

Drink from a glass half full and feed that which gives you a sense of satisfaction.

I wish you blessings of laughter and the ability to see, appreciate, and be thankful for the simple things life brings.

I want to thank each and every one of you, and extend that outward to those I don’t know, who are building new roads of tolerance and peace and bringing positive change to our community and our world.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Much love and joy in music,
Robin

Another great night out with the girls; my girlfriend Carla flew in from New York for Art Basel and to visit with her sister Leah. It was another amazing reunion filled with reminiscence and peels of laughter. The great thing is our present-day relationships are as interesting as the delight we take in our historical past. We laugh at ourselves, how we are and how we were. Things we couldn’t laugh at then we can laugh at now. It’s the kind of thing where we might have thought at the time that, hopefully, we’ll be able to laugh at the ridiculous nature of this when we are older. But back then we could only feel our raw primitive emotions. I’m so glad we’re still around so we can have that moment of laughter.

Ordinarily I live a quiet lifestyle that includes taking care of my 24 cats, 2 dogs, and sharing my life with my partner, Paul and 16 year old son, Aaron. My life revolves around writing, producing, recording, and rehearsing. For me, this entire evening was dessert. We met at the luxurious, newly renovated Fontainebleau Hotel at Scarpetta Restaurant. Trendy and bustling with young people, it was fun to be there. We were six for dinner. We could see several large TV screens replaying the Victoria Secret Fashion Show held there the previous week for the Grand Opening of the hotel. The biggest stars had come out to perform, Usher and Mariah Carey, to name a few.

This was unlike going out with another couple or just going to check out the scene. These were my best friends from high school. At dinner we acted grown up and felt very ‘in the moment’ discussing topics du jour, life, and Art Basel. After dinner we withdrew upstairs to Carla’s penthouse apartment at the Fountainebleau offering me a glimpse of a world inhabited by only a few. There was no resentment or jealousy, just shared joy for each other’s successes and genuine compassion for our respective disappointments. There we revealed truths about ourselves that were shrouded in mystery over the years laughing at ourselves and our circumstances. I was touched by the ease at which we were able to express our deepest sentiments of those times. Carla told us how embarrassed she had felt as a child at some life events she had endured and I revealed how shallow and self-absorbed I thought I had been then. (I hate to admit it but I believe it’s true.) Leah laughed at herself and her lack of substance and direction in those turbulent years. Who had substance in those years anyway?

But it was okay. It was okay because we had evolved. Carla didn’t have to take responsibility for what she had not created and Leah and I could happily acknowledge our personal growth and development. Just this past weekend I was reminded by the great Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh when addressing the topic of permanence that nothing is permanent; that we are not the same at 50 as we were at 10. Thank God! We had grown and evolved and so had our love for one another, becoming accepting, forgiving, and complete.

In this little group we could be ourselves. It was such a gift to have a place where we did not have to play a role; doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. We were all on the same playing field regardless of our stature in life and we could just breathe and be.

My path is taking me to these reunions to learn something that is slowly revealing itself. I eagerly look forward to our next visit as it is so much fun, freeing, and as special and satisfying as an occasional scrumptious dessert.

In The Spirit of Thanksgiving

Usually I am on the go and running all but 6 hours a day and that is when I am sleeping.  This week everything came to a grinding halt when I had knee surgery and I had to stay in.  Turns out it has been fabulous.  I have been reading, writing, noticing the birds in the yard (blue jays and finches), picking weeds, being with my pets; 23 cats and 2 dogs, and my son, Aaron, and partner, Paul.

The pets and I have been lying around together like a lazy sloth.  Occasionally this one or that one of them wanders over for a hug or a rub.  The experience has been stress free and joyous moving at a snails pace.  A sense of calm and peacefulness and a spirit of cooperation have made their way into the house.

Almost every day in recent months I have thought to myself that I have to slow down, I have to not schedule anything before noon but, of course, that never happens.  At this moment I feel as though I never want to leave the house again.  Although it is futile to imagine I could stay home forever, as I reflect on this, I am blessed and thankful that I can feel that way about family and home.

After a nice long walk at the beach today with 2 girlfriends, we went to have lunch at Linda’s restaurant. Sitting at a table across from us were three young boys enthusiastically spreading jelly on their hard rolls while waiting for their lunches. One boy was pudgy with a cute rubber tire in his midsection and cherubic cheeks. Watching them, I could feel my mouth watering.

The other two were thin and athletic looking. I think they might have been about 11 or 12 years old. While conversing, nobody looked at each other but instead they focused intently on their culinary activities of spreading jelly on rolls.

Although neither the white rolls nor jelly were particularly healthy for them, it just seemed like so much fun to eat yummy indulgences without hating yourself afterward. Someone told me the other day men don’t do that. They don’t hate themselves after they indulge. Why is that?

I don’t remember the last time I ate junk food and felt happy the next day, or next minute for that matter. They ate unconsciously and thoroughly enjoyed the food that moment.
I loved watching it.

It’s not that I don’t fall off the wagon fairly regularly. It was the carefree joy of eating; and total freedom that made it great. I’ve eaten guilt-free ice cream and guiltless chips, but these boys were really free. And for a split second, I was too.

Any way, my salad was delicious and I have learned to love salad. But I never had to learn to love bread and jelly.

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Several years ago I wondered what it would be like to contact everyone that I had loved or who had been significant to me in some way during my lifetime .  Since then I have rekindled several of my childhood friendships and have made peace with all family members.

On the day of this entry I had met with 3 girlfriends from junior high that I hadn’t seen for 40 years.  They are bright, accomplished, ethical, morally conscious, loving, caring career women with family and a sense of social responsibility.  My girlfriends are open, transparent, funny and smart.  Their honesty is beautiful and comfortable to be around; nothing pretentious.

As adults interacting, it’s fun and makes me smile to reflect on us as children and teenagers.  I feel a warm spot in my heart when Janna smiles in her demure way, because it exposes her inner warmth and kind-heartedness that I remember and loved as a child.

We are in different life circumstances, although all nearing our mid fifties and in similar life stages.  All are successful in their fields.  Leah’s third marriage is teetering.  As she gives up this marriage she is also readying herself to give up a life of self doubt and propel herself forward into new levels of self reliance and personal independence.  Janna is single again, and willing to do with less and risk being alone in exchange for a home where her time and activities are spent uncompromising and self-fulfilled.  Maria, has had her share of living alone, having gotten married later in life, is dedicated to her career, stepson and husband.

Having done the “losing myself to the relationship” thing, I’ve decided to figure out how to be me within the context of “us” in my new relationship. I am finally the songstress and songwriter of my childhood musings.

During our visit we seemed so surprised at how we were perceived by one another.  I never knew my friends thought I was smart.  I liked learning that. One of my girlfriends was pleased to hear all that I remembered about her from childhood and wanted her children to hear my perspective since she could only be known to them through the lens of her adult life. She delighted in having her children learn about her early interests in the science of color, art, eating powdered donuts for breakfast, her unusual athleticism “for a girl” and her profound interest and curiosity about the world.

My girlfriends and I have traveled far from our early beginnings, but still feel deeply connected to our roots.  When we are together there is an inexplicable joyousness that feels good and reminiscent of our carefree childhood days that were filled with wild abandon.  Our journeys have taught us about struggle and overcoming internal and external obstacles; about growth, change and possibility.  We experience mutual admiration for having met life’s challenges head on, for our adaptability and personal evolutions.

I’m so proud of us.  We are part of a movement that made things better for women.  Perhaps for a while we swung a little too much to the left or right. But we have created options our mothers didn’t have.  We can have a career or we can be a stay-at-home mom and either is okay. We can be good at math and computers as well as the social sciences.  We can design our own lives to be self-actualizing and we have opened the door for our daughters to embrace their lives with a can-do attitude.

I have read historical accounts about my generation, the Boomers and our “revolutions” retrospectively.  I lived it.  But being preoccupied with motherhood and everyday life I was too busy being and doing than feeling and knowing.

Through this event,  I have experienced a shift in consciousness from “me” to “we” and realized that we are all connected.  That my life is part of something much greater than the space and time I have taken up in this life.  As part of a generation dedicated to family, freedom, compassion and self-actualization, we have made a difference and a change for the better.

I believe we are all unique and special and have an important story to share that can inspire others.  I look forward to hearing yours.